Monday 13 August 2012
Something is odd in the school. THERE IS NO INTERNET! That is just so sad. And what's worse, is that I think the other dorms have Internet. Meanwhile, us, we can access only Google, and its related sites [Gmail, Blogspot, etc. BUT NOT YOUTUBE.]. It's so annoying. I mean, I'm so Twitter-deprived already. And seriously, I have people who I can only talk to through Twitter ['cause, aside from that we don't really see each other that much in person, it's awkward when we do.] So, I swear, at least let me access Twitter! [Selfish request.]
Friday 10 August 2012
[Almost] Mid-August Thoughts
Two-and-a-half months down, seven to go! Normally, by this time, we've started with the Second Quarter already. But because of the recent disasters, our schedule had been pulled back by a full week, so a lot of people are scared that they might take away our Humanities Week [I'm one of those!]. I really, honestly, hope not, because we were unfortunate enough to not have one when we were still Freshmen. I mean, that would suck if we only get to experience a Humanities Week 2 out of 4 years...
Two-and-a-half months down, seven to go! I've started filling out my De La Salle University forms [Meanwhile, my Ateneo forms are not even halfway done...], and my, it's really hard to pick a course! It's kind of like UP, because there are a lot of programs to choose from. The only difference is, this time, I came to know more about what I don't really like [Which is exactly what I put in my UP Application, so, that sucks]. Ateneo is quite different because there aren't really a lot to choose from, [but it's still hard to pick!] so I guess it's not as hard to pick. And, I would really, really want to get in a scholarship program of DLSU. If what I heard is true, then being a Star Scholar would be really, really great! I mean, we're not really that privileged, so it's not like I can actually afford to study in De La Salle without a scholarship. But if Star Scholar is too high of a goal, then I hope to get in Vaugirard, which is pretty much exclusive to people coming from Public High Schools [and, I think Pisay is one of them?].
Two-and-a-half months down, seven to go! Honestly, I think time is buzzing by too fast. Way too fast. It's just August and yet I can feel graduation coming [it's not like I'm going to graduate, but then you know, that event]. And I can already feel how much I will miss some people when I've left Pisay for good. Especially some lower years, whom I've managed to become pretty close with. Well, maybe not quite, but I can say it's somewhere on the 'Friends' level. I guess? And not just the people, but the culture in general.
Two-and-a-half months down, seven to go! I still have no progress. Before this school year started, I had a lot of plans. And I mean, A LOT. And as the school year started, and the first few days and weeks went by, more goals and plans had been added. But assessing my performance so far, I don't think I had any progress. Right now, I'm still the laziest a student and a person can get. All those goals to subtly improve on study habits? Not ticked. And another thing, I'm still not close, nor have made any new friends at all with my new classmates. I know that's weird and sad, but I know that's because I'm the most not-cool person you'll ever encounter. I mean it. And forget about being GC. I really just don't understand the lessons anymore.
And forgive me, but can I just say how disappointing GAQT is. Well, actually, just the part where we're not allowed to review the questionnaire. I might not know their reasons, but I have to respect that. I know there's a good and fair reason for that. But if I could have it my way, there's really just these two things I'd like to check out, if I get to see the exam again. One, if I got the meaning of NDRRMC correctly, and two, where did I go wrong in the Multiple Choice part. I mean, I'd just like to see the question where I got a mistake in the Multiple Choice part, and correct whatever incorrect information I had back then. 'Cause that's the only thing bothering me [about the GAQT, at least] at the moment, since I already know the correct answers for my other mistakes. And it just sucks that I rarely have a sense of being a "GC" [grade-conscious] person, and maybe you can call that an overachiever as well, and yet it has to be somewhere I could not fully access all the information. [I think that didn't make any sense] Alright, enough of GAQT.
Two-and-a-half months down, seven-and-a-half to go! Remember what Sir Martin said? Remember what Mr. Estrella (CorComm) said? And I know, I promised myself to do as much as I can to not disappoint them. But right now, it feels as if everything I'm trying to do is a deviation from what they told us to do.
Right now, I'm still that happy-go-lucky person who cares the least about things. Which also translates to lack of self-discipline, something that Sir Martin asked of us. And though sometimes I tell the lower years what they should and shouldn't do at certain times, it's not like I do those all the time either. So much for setting a good example, right? I'm sorry, Sir Martin, if I am contributing to the causes of your disappointment. I know it will take quite a while to be able to manifest a good self-discipline, but Sir, I will see to it that, at least personally, I have fulfilled your wishes. I have stood by your standards. That I have been worthy to be placed under your authority.
"Patunayan n'yo na karapat-dapat kayo na maging Iskolar ng Bayan!" "Pakiusap, 'wag na kayong dumagdag pa sa problema ng Pilipinas!" Those two statements of Mr. Estrella really stuck to my head. That was during an informal CAT meeting [the Friday before UPCAT], and I think it stuck mainly because those were what had been in my mind before I went to that session. I don't know how many times I've said this before, but, I'm already in Fourth Year and yet I don't feel like I've proven myself, even just a bit, to be worthy of becoming a Pisay Scholar. And that feeling sucks, you know. It feels like, all this time, I've been wasting all the time, effort, and money that the country, and my fellow countrymen had invested in me. And as I had mentioned earlier, I'm not really a person who has a good self-discipline, and so I am inclined to say that I am actually contributing to the retardation of the advancement of this country. Which is quite ironic for a Pisay scholar, who is expected to be the pioneers of this country's growth and progress. See, all the more it makes me think that up to now, I'm still not worthy of my spot in this school.
But, Mr. Estrella, please do mark my words. You are the Corps Commander of this Batch I belong to, and as a cadet, I have to obey your orders. It might not have been a command, and you might have not taken-in command [if that's how you phrase it], but I still have the duty to follow your order. Not just because you're CorComm and I'm a cadet, but because I know that what you have told us to do is merely just a reminder of our duties that we have forgotten, if we even thought of it as duties in the first place. I might be one of those cadets who have the poorest performance in CAT, but at the end of it all, I will leave as a cadet. I will enter college as a person who came from Philippine Science High School, a school that has high standards in terms of academics and discipline. Impose whatever action you wish to take if I don't live up to my word, for even when we leave this school, I'm pretty sure that I will still look up to you as the Corps Commander of the batch I belong to.
What's really disappointing by far is that no matter how much I think I should start reforming myself, it just doesn't happen. I do try, but sooner or later, I find out that I had given up. But I really do hope that this year, with the remaining seven-and-half months, something will change. It might not be something really major, but I hope it will be concrete.
Two-and-a-half months down, seven to go! A lot of time had passed me by already, and there are still a lot to be done. No matter how much time have been wasted, I know it's still not too late. Well, I hope it really is not too late. Yet.
Two-and-a-half months down, seven to go! I've started filling out my De La Salle University forms [Meanwhile, my Ateneo forms are not even halfway done...], and my, it's really hard to pick a course! It's kind of like UP, because there are a lot of programs to choose from. The only difference is, this time, I came to know more about what I don't really like [Which is exactly what I put in my UP Application, so, that sucks]. Ateneo is quite different because there aren't really a lot to choose from, [but it's still hard to pick!] so I guess it's not as hard to pick. And, I would really, really want to get in a scholarship program of DLSU. If what I heard is true, then being a Star Scholar would be really, really great! I mean, we're not really that privileged, so it's not like I can actually afford to study in De La Salle without a scholarship. But if Star Scholar is too high of a goal, then I hope to get in Vaugirard, which is pretty much exclusive to people coming from Public High Schools [and, I think Pisay is one of them?].
Two-and-a-half months down, seven to go! Honestly, I think time is buzzing by too fast. Way too fast. It's just August and yet I can feel graduation coming [it's not like I'm going to graduate, but then you know, that event]. And I can already feel how much I will miss some people when I've left Pisay for good. Especially some lower years, whom I've managed to become pretty close with. Well, maybe not quite, but I can say it's somewhere on the 'Friends' level. I guess? And not just the people, but the culture in general.
Two-and-a-half months down, seven to go! I still have no progress. Before this school year started, I had a lot of plans. And I mean, A LOT. And as the school year started, and the first few days and weeks went by, more goals and plans had been added. But assessing my performance so far, I don't think I had any progress. Right now, I'm still the laziest a student and a person can get. All those goals to subtly improve on study habits? Not ticked. And another thing, I'm still not close, nor have made any new friends at all with my new classmates. I know that's weird and sad, but I know that's because I'm the most not-cool person you'll ever encounter. I mean it. And forget about being GC. I really just don't understand the lessons anymore.
And forgive me, but can I just say how disappointing GAQT is. Well, actually, just the part where we're not allowed to review the questionnaire. I might not know their reasons, but I have to respect that. I know there's a good and fair reason for that. But if I could have it my way, there's really just these two things I'd like to check out, if I get to see the exam again. One, if I got the meaning of NDRRMC correctly, and two, where did I go wrong in the Multiple Choice part. I mean, I'd just like to see the question where I got a mistake in the Multiple Choice part, and correct whatever incorrect information I had back then. 'Cause that's the only thing bothering me [about the GAQT, at least] at the moment, since I already know the correct answers for my other mistakes. And it just sucks that I rarely have a sense of being a "GC" [grade-conscious] person, and maybe you can call that an overachiever as well, and yet it has to be somewhere I could not fully access all the information. [I think that didn't make any sense] Alright, enough of GAQT.
Two-and-a-half months down, seven-and-a-half to go! Remember what Sir Martin said? Remember what Mr. Estrella (CorComm) said? And I know, I promised myself to do as much as I can to not disappoint them. But right now, it feels as if everything I'm trying to do is a deviation from what they told us to do.
Right now, I'm still that happy-go-lucky person who cares the least about things. Which also translates to lack of self-discipline, something that Sir Martin asked of us. And though sometimes I tell the lower years what they should and shouldn't do at certain times, it's not like I do those all the time either. So much for setting a good example, right? I'm sorry, Sir Martin, if I am contributing to the causes of your disappointment. I know it will take quite a while to be able to manifest a good self-discipline, but Sir, I will see to it that, at least personally, I have fulfilled your wishes. I have stood by your standards. That I have been worthy to be placed under your authority.
"Patunayan n'yo na karapat-dapat kayo na maging Iskolar ng Bayan!" "Pakiusap, 'wag na kayong dumagdag pa sa problema ng Pilipinas!" Those two statements of Mr. Estrella really stuck to my head. That was during an informal CAT meeting [the Friday before UPCAT], and I think it stuck mainly because those were what had been in my mind before I went to that session. I don't know how many times I've said this before, but, I'm already in Fourth Year and yet I don't feel like I've proven myself, even just a bit, to be worthy of becoming a Pisay Scholar. And that feeling sucks, you know. It feels like, all this time, I've been wasting all the time, effort, and money that the country, and my fellow countrymen had invested in me. And as I had mentioned earlier, I'm not really a person who has a good self-discipline, and so I am inclined to say that I am actually contributing to the retardation of the advancement of this country. Which is quite ironic for a Pisay scholar, who is expected to be the pioneers of this country's growth and progress. See, all the more it makes me think that up to now, I'm still not worthy of my spot in this school.
But, Mr. Estrella, please do mark my words. You are the Corps Commander of this Batch I belong to, and as a cadet, I have to obey your orders. It might not have been a command, and you might have not taken-in command [if that's how you phrase it], but I still have the duty to follow your order. Not just because you're CorComm and I'm a cadet, but because I know that what you have told us to do is merely just a reminder of our duties that we have forgotten, if we even thought of it as duties in the first place. I might be one of those cadets who have the poorest performance in CAT, but at the end of it all, I will leave as a cadet. I will enter college as a person who came from Philippine Science High School, a school that has high standards in terms of academics and discipline. Impose whatever action you wish to take if I don't live up to my word, for even when we leave this school, I'm pretty sure that I will still look up to you as the Corps Commander of the batch I belong to.
What's really disappointing by far is that no matter how much I think I should start reforming myself, it just doesn't happen. I do try, but sooner or later, I find out that I had given up. But I really do hope that this year, with the remaining seven-and-half months, something will change. It might not be something really major, but I hope it will be concrete.
Two-and-a-half months down, seven to go! A lot of time had passed me by already, and there are still a lot to be done. No matter how much time have been wasted, I know it's still not too late. Well, I hope it really is not too late. Yet.
Wednesday 8 August 2012
Just a small rant about a Tweet I saw just a while ago.
You can't do everything all at once, even if your desire to do so is great. Pinamumunuan niya ang isang komunidad, kaya mahalaga na maayos ang priorities n'ya. Sigurado naman ako na ang puso n'ya ay nasa pagtulong sa mga nasalanta ng unos. Kaso, hindi naman pwede na ialay n'ya ang lahat ng lakas n'ya para gawin iyon. Bahagi s'ya ng gobyernong hinahangad ang matiwasay na pamumuhay ng kanilang nasasakupan. Kahit na ang pagtulong ang una sa listahan ng mga kailangan niyang gawin, mayroon pa ring ibang bagay na kailangan rin pagtuunan ng pansin.
Ikaw ba, kung malagay sa posisyon n'ya, ay pipiliin mong ibigay ang iyong buong oras at itaya ang iyong kaligtasan upang pumunta sa iba't-ibang lugar para tumulong sa mga naapektuhan ng pag-ulan? O tatanggapin mo ang paanyaya ng isang palabas sa telebisyon, na ika'y makapanayam sa iyong opisina?
Timbangin natin ang mga pagpipilian:
Magpunta sa iba't-ibang lugar na iyong nasasakupan upang tumulong sa mga nasalanta:
- Personal mong makikita ang mga ngiti at hinaing ng mga tao.
- May personal satisfaction kang nakukuha sa bawa't tao / pamilyang naaabutan mo ng tulong
- Nakikita mo nang personal, at mas nararamdaman mo ang mga nasira ng bagyo, at ang mga paghihirap na dala nito sa mga tao.
- Nadaragdagan ang mga taong tumutulong, kaya nakatitipid sa oras.
- Nakikita ng mga taong ika'y tumutulong, kaya mas tumataas ang respeto nila sa iyo
- Nakikita ng mga taong ika'y tumutulong, kaya iisipin nilang namumulitika ka lang.
- Matataas pa rin ang baha, at hindi pa rin tumitigil ang pag-ulan at malakas ang hangin, kung kaya kung ika'y susuong sa pagtulong ay tila nailalagay rin sa panganib ang iyong kaligtasan.
- Kakainin nito ang malaking bahagi ng iyong oras, at marami ka pang ibang kinakailangang gawin.
- Hindi sapat ang isang buong araw, kahit pa hindi ka na matulog, dahil sobrang daming kailangan tulungan, at hindi naman kayang dalhin nang sabay-sabay ang lahat ng tulong na sasapat para sa lahat.
- Malaki rin ang pinag-uusapang Lungsod rito: Lungsod ng Quezon. Ito ay humigit-kumulang 64 sq. mi., na halos kasinlaki na rin ng bansang Liechtenstein sa kanluran (Europe), kung kaya maraming panahon ang kakailanganin para mapuntahan mo nang personal ang kada isang nangangailangan ng tulong.
Eh paano kung pumayag ka sa paanyayang makapanayam sa telebisyon?
- 'Pag nakita ka nila sa telebisyon ay malaki ang posibilidad na makatanggap ka ng batikos dahil ika'y pa-TV-TV lang, samantalang naghihirap ang iyong mga nasasakupan.
- Maaari ka pa rin namang lumabas at tumulong sa mga kababayan mo, nguni't hindi na ganoon ka-komprehensibo.
- Nakakatipid ka sa oras, kaya kung may iba ka pang kailangan asikasuhin ay maaari mo itong gawin.
- Sa pamamagitan ng telebisyon ay maaari kang manawagan sa mga mamamayang nanonood [at maaari ring mga taong nakatira sa ibang bansa] upang mag-abot ng tulong para sa mga nasasakupan mong tao at maging ang ibang naapektuhan ng malakas na pag-ulan sa iba't-ibang lugar.
Kung anuman ang isasagot mo, wala na akong magagawa. Pero para sa taong hindi ko nagustuhan ang Tweet kanina, sana naman sa susunod ay pag-isipan mo munang mabuti ang pagbibitiw mo ng isang statement na medyo malakas ang pagpaparatang. At sana, tayong mga Pilipino'y magkapit-bisig sa unos na dinaranas ng ating bansa sa pagkakataong ito (bilang ang pag-ulan ay nakakaapekto sa labing-isang rehiyon ng ating bansa). Huwag na nating pairalin ang crab mentality na paghila sa ibang tao pababa. 'Yung sinisiraan natin sila pagka't sila'y may naitutulong, samantalang tayo ay walang magawa. Baka gusto n'yo ring sundin ang CorComm namin sa CAT, 'wag na rin kayong dumagdag pa sa problema ng Pilipinas. [Connect? Kasi 'pag sinisiraan ang mga nagsusubok tumulong sa kanilang sari-sariling paraan, nakaka-discourage para sa karamihan. At gagawin rin nila ito sa iba. Nagkakaroon ng bad publicity / incorrect notion ang pagtulong. Mamomroblema ang gobyerno sa paghahanap ng mga taong maaaring tumulong.]
You can't do everything all at once, even if your desire to do so is great. Pinamumunuan niya ang isang komunidad, kaya mahalaga na maayos ang priorities n'ya. Sigurado naman ako na ang puso n'ya ay nasa pagtulong sa mga nasalanta ng unos. Kaso, hindi naman pwede na ialay n'ya ang lahat ng lakas n'ya para gawin iyon. Bahagi s'ya ng gobyernong hinahangad ang matiwasay na pamumuhay ng kanilang nasasakupan. Kahit na ang pagtulong ang una sa listahan ng mga kailangan niyang gawin, mayroon pa ring ibang bagay na kailangan rin pagtuunan ng pansin.
Ikaw ba, kung malagay sa posisyon n'ya, ay pipiliin mong ibigay ang iyong buong oras at itaya ang iyong kaligtasan upang pumunta sa iba't-ibang lugar para tumulong sa mga naapektuhan ng pag-ulan? O tatanggapin mo ang paanyaya ng isang palabas sa telebisyon, na ika'y makapanayam sa iyong opisina?
Timbangin natin ang mga pagpipilian:
Magpunta sa iba't-ibang lugar na iyong nasasakupan upang tumulong sa mga nasalanta:
- Personal mong makikita ang mga ngiti at hinaing ng mga tao.
- May personal satisfaction kang nakukuha sa bawa't tao / pamilyang naaabutan mo ng tulong
- Nakikita mo nang personal, at mas nararamdaman mo ang mga nasira ng bagyo, at ang mga paghihirap na dala nito sa mga tao.
- Nadaragdagan ang mga taong tumutulong, kaya nakatitipid sa oras.
- Nakikita ng mga taong ika'y tumutulong, kaya mas tumataas ang respeto nila sa iyo
- Nakikita ng mga taong ika'y tumutulong, kaya iisipin nilang namumulitika ka lang.
- Matataas pa rin ang baha, at hindi pa rin tumitigil ang pag-ulan at malakas ang hangin, kung kaya kung ika'y susuong sa pagtulong ay tila nailalagay rin sa panganib ang iyong kaligtasan.
- Kakainin nito ang malaking bahagi ng iyong oras, at marami ka pang ibang kinakailangang gawin.
- Hindi sapat ang isang buong araw, kahit pa hindi ka na matulog, dahil sobrang daming kailangan tulungan, at hindi naman kayang dalhin nang sabay-sabay ang lahat ng tulong na sasapat para sa lahat.
- Malaki rin ang pinag-uusapang Lungsod rito: Lungsod ng Quezon. Ito ay humigit-kumulang 64 sq. mi., na halos kasinlaki na rin ng bansang Liechtenstein sa kanluran (Europe), kung kaya maraming panahon ang kakailanganin para mapuntahan mo nang personal ang kada isang nangangailangan ng tulong.
Eh paano kung pumayag ka sa paanyayang makapanayam sa telebisyon?
- 'Pag nakita ka nila sa telebisyon ay malaki ang posibilidad na makatanggap ka ng batikos dahil ika'y pa-TV-TV lang, samantalang naghihirap ang iyong mga nasasakupan.
- Maaari ka pa rin namang lumabas at tumulong sa mga kababayan mo, nguni't hindi na ganoon ka-komprehensibo.
- Nakakatipid ka sa oras, kaya kung may iba ka pang kailangan asikasuhin ay maaari mo itong gawin.
- Sa pamamagitan ng telebisyon ay maaari kang manawagan sa mga mamamayang nanonood [at maaari ring mga taong nakatira sa ibang bansa] upang mag-abot ng tulong para sa mga nasasakupan mong tao at maging ang ibang naapektuhan ng malakas na pag-ulan sa iba't-ibang lugar.
Kung anuman ang isasagot mo, wala na akong magagawa. Pero para sa taong hindi ko nagustuhan ang Tweet kanina, sana naman sa susunod ay pag-isipan mo munang mabuti ang pagbibitiw mo ng isang statement na medyo malakas ang pagpaparatang. At sana, tayong mga Pilipino'y magkapit-bisig sa unos na dinaranas ng ating bansa sa pagkakataong ito (bilang ang pag-ulan ay nakakaapekto sa labing-isang rehiyon ng ating bansa). Huwag na nating pairalin ang crab mentality na paghila sa ibang tao pababa. 'Yung sinisiraan natin sila pagka't sila'y may naitutulong, samantalang tayo ay walang magawa. Baka gusto n'yo ring sundin ang CorComm namin sa CAT, 'wag na rin kayong dumagdag pa sa problema ng Pilipinas. [Connect? Kasi 'pag sinisiraan ang mga nagsusubok tumulong sa kanilang sari-sariling paraan, nakaka-discourage para sa karamihan. At gagawin rin nila ito sa iba. Nagkakaroon ng bad publicity / incorrect notion ang pagtulong. Mamomroblema ang gobyerno sa paghahanap ng mga taong maaaring tumulong.]
Tuesday 7 August 2012
That awkward moment when you're so incapable of helping others because your resources are very limited and your geographical location worsens the situation that all you can do is follow your CAT Corps Commander when he told you to not add to the problems/burdens currently faced/carried by your country.
Sunday 5 August 2012
UPCAT 2012.
Ikalima ng Agosto, taong 2012. 6:37 ng umaga.
Hikab ako nang hikab habang pagsusulit sa Language Proficiency at Agham. Halos wala na akong naiintindihan.
Matagal nang pinaghandaan ang pangyayaring ito. Kakaunti man ang personal effort ko sa paghahanda para rito, totoo rin ang sinabi ni Ate Alla (ng Batch 2011) na ang buong buhay namin sa high school ay isa na ring uri ng paghahanda para sa UPCAT. Ang pinakamabusising paghahanda para sa UPCAT.
Matagal pa bago mag-UPCAT ay marami nang kinakabahan para rito. Lalo naman sa aming paaralan, kung saan inaasahan ang "100% UPCAT passing rate." Hindi 'yan pang-endorse ng review school, Pisay 'yan. Kaya kailangan talagang galingan sa UPCAT, kundi magiging instant celebrity ka. Sikat ka kasi hindi ka pumasa.
Kung ang iba ay lubos nang kinakabahan para sa UPCAT, mas higit ang aking takot. Sila kasi, magaling na talaga, as is. Tapos, dahil kaya rin nilang magbayad, nag-review school pa sila. E paano naman ako, isa sa mga taong may pinakamabababang marka sa batch. Tapos hindi pa nag-review school. Asa na lang sa mga booklets. Kaya nga laking tuwa ko sa Batch Review sa Pisay. Kahit hindi halata, sineryoso ko naman kahit papaano 'yung review na 'yun. Wala na kasi akong ibang pwedeng asahan.
Ilang araw bago mag-UPCAT, nauso rin sa batch namin ang katagang "Tiwala". Napaka-positibo ng salitang ito, nguni't hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi nito nagagawang i-boost ang confidence ko para sa UPCAT. Pakiramdam ko talaga babagsak ako. Ang isang malaking pagkakamali ko kasi ay naglagay ako ng dalawang quota courses sa UP Diliman. Pagpasensyahan n'yo ang pagka-feeler ko.
Isang araw bago mag-umpisa ang UPCAT, pinuspos naming mag-aral sa Guidance Centre. Natitigil ito sa bawa't pagtunog ng bell, kung kailan kailangan naming pumunta sa susunod na klase, para lang malaman na wala namang klase. Kaya dali-dali kaming bumabalik sa Guidance para ipagpatuloy mag-aral. Nguni't kahit gaano pa man ka-gustong mag-aral, darating at darating rin sa puntong nakakatamad na talaga. Ngunit salamat at oras na para sa Prayer Meeting. Oras para makapag-unleash.
Unang araw ng UPCAT. Sa ikalawang araw pa ako nakatakdang kumuha ng pagsusulit, kung kaya inilaan ko ang Sabado sa pag-aaral. Oo, sabi nila na dapat akong mag-chill isang araw bago ang pagsusulit, ngunit hindi ko lang talaga magawa, hindi ko alam kung bakit. Nu'ng hapon ay pumunta ako sa bahay ng isang kaibigan na makakasabay ko pagpunta sa UP kinabukasan.
Gabi bago ang nakatakda kong schedule ng UPCAT. 20.00 pa lang, nakahiga na 'ko sa kama. Unti-unting nilalamon ng antok... Nang bumukas ang pintuan. Sinabihan kaming matulog na dahil malapit na raw mag-2100. Itinago na namin ang aming mga reviewer, at naghanda upang matulog. Subali't, kahit na grabe na ang antok ko ilang minuto ang nakararaan, tila lahat ito'y nawala at sobrang nahirapan akong matulog. As in. Tipong, hindi ko alam kung gaano katagal, pero nakatitig lang ako sa kisame, at ang mga ala-ala'y bumabalik.
Nagising ako sa pagbukas ng ilaw. Bumangon ako, dahil akala ko'y ikaapat na ng umaga. 'Yun pala, 2:40 pa lang raw. Balik sa tulog. Nagising uli ako sa pakiramdam na may tumapak sa hinihigaan ko. At 'yun, naghanda na 'ko para sa pagpunta sa UPCAT. Kaso may problema ako -- dahil sa paputol-putol na tulog, sobrang inaantok ako. Pero, bahala na.
Hinatid kami sa Testing Center. Habang naghihintay sa pila ay sinubok kong maghanap ng kakilala. Marami akong kilalang kaparehas koo ng Testing Center at parehas ng oras, pero wala akong makita kahit isa sa kanila.
6:08. Nag-umpisa na kaming papasukin sa Testing Room. Inilahad ang mga panuto, at ginawa namin ang mga ito paisa-isa. Hanggang sa wakas, 6:37 ay sinambit na ng proctor ang salitang "Begin." Ang unang bahagi ng pagsusulit ay Language Proficiency. Sa totoo lang, bahagya akong nahirapan sa parteng Ingles. Hindi naman talaga ako magaling sa Ingles, pero hindi naman ako ganoong nahirapan sa simulation o booklet. Malabo. At dahil nahirapan ako, inabot ako ng mga tatlumpu't-limang minuto para sa bahaging Ingles. At dahil limampung minuto lang ang nakalaan, labinlimang minuto lang ang oras ko para sa bahaging Pilipino. Kaya masaya ako na natapos ko ang bahaging Pilipino. :D
7:30. Nag-umpisa sa Agham. Nanggaling ako sa Mataas na Paaralan ng Pilipinas sa Agham, nguni't alam kong hindi ganoon kaganda ang marka ko sa bahaging Agham. Ngunit kahit nahirapan ako, hindi ko pa rin nagustuhan ang "spoon-feeding" sa pagsusulit na yaon.
[Rant: Wala naman akong natatandaan na nag-spoon-feed sa NCE (Of course my memory is faulty, but nonetheless), kaya hindi ko maatim kung bakit mayroon nito sa UPCAT. Oo, hindi patas na naituro na sa amin ang ilang mga concepts noong Ikalawa or Ikatlong Taon. Pero kaya nga nag-aaral para sa UPCAT. At UPCAT 'yun. Nakasalalay doon ang 60 % ng UPG mo. Malaking bahagdan ng pagpasok ng isang mag-aaral sa UNIBERSIDAD NG PILIPINAS ang nakasalalay sa UPCAT. Unibersidad ng Pilipinas. Kinikilalang pinakamahusay at may pinakamataas na kalidad ng edukasyon sa Pilipinas. Kaya dapat lang na maging puspusan ang gagawing pag-aaral para makapasok rito. Oo, pwedeng sabihin na "May advantage ang mga Pisay, kasi nga, Pisay sila." Pero hindi lang talaga ganoon kadali 'yun eh. Hindi naman effortless ang pagiging advanced namin sa mga aralin (kumpara sa ibang mga pampublikong paaralan). Pinaghirapan rin 'yun. Kung ang ibang mga mag-aaral, nagpapakahirap lang mag-aral bago mag-UPCAT, ang mga Pisay, nagpapakahirap buong High School. At sa totoo lang, karamihan naman doon sa mga spoon-fed na mga tanong eh base sa mga batayang kaalaman. Kinailangan lang ng kaunting pag-isip. Ngunit dahil sa pagpapaliwanag bago ang tanong, hindi na kinailangan mag-isip ng iba. Titignan lang nila, at 'yun na ang sagot! Ipagpaumanhin n'yo po ang mga sinabi ko. Alam kong faulty at fallacious ang mga sinabi ko.]
Matematika. Sa umpisa, akala mo madali. 'Yung unang mga lima hanggang walong tanong, kaya mong sagutin gamit ang isip lamang. Ngunit paglagpas mo roon, hindi mo na kakayaning hindi magsulat. O para sa akin lang 'yun. Hindi kasi ako mahusay sa Matematika. Sana nga'y maipasa ko ang bahaging ito kahit papaano.
Reading Comprehension. Ang pinaka-paborito kong bahagi ng UPCAT. Natuwa ako na higit sa kalahati ang seleksyon sa Pilipino, tila binawi ang higit sa kalahati na bahagi ng Ingles sa Language Proficiency. Lahat ng mga seleksyon sa Pilipino ay binasa ko nang buo bago sumagot sa mga katanungan, at masasabi kong halos lahat ay nagustuhan ko. Mayroong mga komiks galing sa diyaryo, at mayroon ring galing sa librong "You Know You're a Filipino If...". Mayroon ring mga kwentong nakamumulat ng isipan sa mga usaping panlipunan. O baka ako lang 'yun, dahil inaasahan ko talagang ang tanong para sa sanaysay ay isang tanong ukol sa isang suliraning/usaping panlipunan.
Essay. Ang una kong napansin sa papel ay dalawang tanong. Isang Ingles, isang nasa Pilipino. Natuwa ako dahil ito ang hinihiling ko para sa sanaysay -- ang makapili ako kung ako'y susulat sa Ingles o Pilipino. Bago pa basahin ang tanong ay hiniling ko na na ito'y tungkol sa kasulukyang kalagayan ng ating lipunan dito sa Maynila. O marahil sa ibang bahagi ng Pilipinas (para maging patas sa mga kumuha ng pagsusulit galing sa mga lugar na malayo sa Maynila, at posibleng nawalan na ng tiwala sa mga pangyayari rito sa kabisera ng bansa). Nguni't, laking gulat ko sa tanong na "Ano ang paborito mong gamit sa pag-aaral?" Hindi ko talaga alam kung paano ito sasagutin, kaya hindi naging maganda ang isinulat kong sanaysay. Hindi naman ako naging "sabaw" tulad ng iba, nguni't hindi rin naman talagang kaaya-ayang basahin ang gawa ko.
Mas nagulat ako nang marinig ko ang mga tanong sa sanaysay ng ibang mga batch ng pagsusulit. Alam kong ang sanaysay ay ang paraan ng UP upang makita kung gaano kataas ang leadership skills ng mag-aaral. Subali't, sa tema ng ibang sanaysay, parang hindi. Ang mga sumusunod ang mga tema ng sanaysay (hindi ang eksaktong tanong, para sa iba).
- Sabado, umaga: Ipaliwanag, nang may kaakibat na detalye, ang bagay na madalas mong gawin.
- Sabado, hapon: Ipakita ang pagkasunud-sunod ng mga pangyayari kung ika'y makakita ng isang alien.
- Linggo, umaga: Ano ang paborito mong gamit sa pag-aaral?
- Linggo, hapon: Gumawa ng isang kapani-paniwalang kasinungalingan ukol sa iyong sarili. Bigyang detalye.
Ang aking sanaysay ay isinulat ko sa wikang Pilipino. Ngunit sa kasamaang palad, ay hindi ko ito natapos. Marahil ay hindi ito mapaghahalataan ng mga magbabasa nito, ngunit para sa akin, ay hindi ito tapos. Siguro ang naging dahilan kung bakit hindi ako natapos ay ang lawak at layo ng maaaring marating ng aking sagot.
Pag-uwi ko ay nadatnan ko na ang mga kwentuhan ukol sa UPCAT, na sa kabuuan ay masayang basahin. Lalo na ang mga #RejectedUPCATEssayQuestions at ang pagtatalakayan tungkol sa mga tanong sa UPCAT. Pati na rin si Hans Tristan Anderson Yu Sykora [na si Mario Maurer + braces lang rin naman].
Wednesday 1 August 2012
Ilusyon, atbp. Pt. 2.
First day of August.
When I woke up, the first thing I heard was a "No classes," from my dear roommate. But since I slept quite early the previous night, I just rose up from the bed and checked Twitter and Facebook groups.
It's supposed to be "Hell Week" but somehow I don't feel like it. Sure, we have more LTs this week than usual. But that's it. Last week was more of a hell week than this one. The only difference is that, we have ACET Forms due this week, and UPCAT this weekend.
Three days into the week, but we've only had one school day so far. Tuesday. And just some random fact, Tuesday is one of our two full-sched days, aside from Friday. But for some weird reason, Tuesday seemed so light. It's like, nothing much happened in class.
However, I can say there's quite a lot that happened out of class. Like for example, I somehow got confirmation about something I've been having suspicions on before. It's something concerning a conflict between a classmate and I. I think that classmate of mine dislikes me. For real. I've gotten signals before, but the proof this time is just more on synthesis of happenings. Before, he talked about this person he dislikes and he hates how that person got a higher score than him in the UPCAT Simulation (Post-Test) that our Guidance Office conducted. So then I was in the Guidance Office to check my score, then he suddenly came in to get his paper. Then he said something about me being higher than him. But the thing is, I was covering my score, that even the person I'm with didn't know what my score was. Ohh.
Anyway. There was also something else. Have I told you about me actually wishing to become Alpha. Well I'm not really that passionate about it until some people told me something about the GAQT that gave me the idea that maybe, I'm kind of close. I mean, even if I'm not in, I'm close. But that night, I decided against it, and forced myself to believe that I just heard them wrong. Which is probably good because at least, I wouldn't be thinking that maybe I'm like the 50th in the list of Alpha candidates or something. And yes, I think that realizing I have ZERO NET MERITS helped me forget all about being even close to becoming Alpha. Masyado na akong feeler.
Also, I realized this newly-found rage against someone else in my class. I mean, I used to be one of those people who are neutral about him. Then something sparked my rage against him about Reader's Theatre. I thought that was it, and that I shouldn't take Reader's Theatre out to real life. But no. He just got into my nerves a few too many times. Outside of Reader's Theatre. I really can't forget how he said "Wow, I kind of missed the space in there." Okay wait here. So I went to walk with another classmate, while discussing/reviewing for an LT. Then out of nowhere I found out that this classmate I dislike had actually joined us without me realizing it. I don't really mind. Well, at first. So then while we were walking, I had to have a quick word with another friend whom we ran into. When I rejoined my classmates, that's what this classmate I dislike said. And it's so annoying 'cause DUDE YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE WITH US IN THE FIRST PLACE AND YET YOU CAN SAY THAT. WOW, JUST WOW. And it's so funny 'cause he actually likes 2 or 3 of my friends HAHAHAHA and he's actually trying to hit on them. Just, no.
I think I should stop ranting here. But I dunno. It's like a relief to rant. But then, I can't really think of "quality posts" -> posts that actually make sense and contribute to the betterment of this country where I live in and this planet whose resources I utilize.
When I woke up, the first thing I heard was a "No classes," from my dear roommate. But since I slept quite early the previous night, I just rose up from the bed and checked Twitter and Facebook groups.
It's supposed to be "Hell Week" but somehow I don't feel like it. Sure, we have more LTs this week than usual. But that's it. Last week was more of a hell week than this one. The only difference is that, we have ACET Forms due this week, and UPCAT this weekend.
Three days into the week, but we've only had one school day so far. Tuesday. And just some random fact, Tuesday is one of our two full-sched days, aside from Friday. But for some weird reason, Tuesday seemed so light. It's like, nothing much happened in class.
However, I can say there's quite a lot that happened out of class. Like for example, I somehow got confirmation about something I've been having suspicions on before. It's something concerning a conflict between a classmate and I. I think that classmate of mine dislikes me. For real. I've gotten signals before, but the proof this time is just more on synthesis of happenings. Before, he talked about this person he dislikes and he hates how that person got a higher score than him in the UPCAT Simulation (Post-Test) that our Guidance Office conducted. So then I was in the Guidance Office to check my score, then he suddenly came in to get his paper. Then he said something about me being higher than him. But the thing is, I was covering my score, that even the person I'm with didn't know what my score was. Ohh.
Anyway. There was also something else. Have I told you about me actually wishing to become Alpha. Well I'm not really that passionate about it until some people told me something about the GAQT that gave me the idea that maybe, I'm kind of close. I mean, even if I'm not in, I'm close. But that night, I decided against it, and forced myself to believe that I just heard them wrong. Which is probably good because at least, I wouldn't be thinking that maybe I'm like the 50th in the list of Alpha candidates or something. And yes, I think that realizing I have ZERO NET MERITS helped me forget all about being even close to becoming Alpha. Masyado na akong feeler.
Also, I realized this newly-found rage against someone else in my class. I mean, I used to be one of those people who are neutral about him. Then something sparked my rage against him about Reader's Theatre. I thought that was it, and that I shouldn't take Reader's Theatre out to real life. But no. He just got into my nerves a few too many times. Outside of Reader's Theatre. I really can't forget how he said "Wow, I kind of missed the space in there." Okay wait here. So I went to walk with another classmate, while discussing/reviewing for an LT. Then out of nowhere I found out that this classmate I dislike had actually joined us without me realizing it. I don't really mind. Well, at first. So then while we were walking, I had to have a quick word with another friend whom we ran into. When I rejoined my classmates, that's what this classmate I dislike said. And it's so annoying 'cause DUDE YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE WITH US IN THE FIRST PLACE AND YET YOU CAN SAY THAT. WOW, JUST WOW. And it's so funny 'cause he actually likes 2 or 3 of my friends HAHAHAHA and he's actually trying to hit on them. Just, no.
I think I should stop ranting here. But I dunno. It's like a relief to rant. But then, I can't really think of "quality posts" -> posts that actually make sense and contribute to the betterment of this country where I live in and this planet whose resources I utilize.
Dorm.
So last night, in the dorm, they announced that they'll be subjecting the laptops for safekeeping. I know they implemented this before, but that was when I'm still not concerned since I wasn't allowed to bring a laptop before.
I know it's selfish, but I can't help but not want to follow this policy. The Boys' Dorm had been strictly implementing this, so I think it's fair enough that we finally follow suit. However, I don't think that the actual policy is fair in itself. Especially that that policy was originally intended for Lower Years.
It's quite like the provision in the Dormitory Handbook, where everyone is expected to be studying from 20.00 to 10.00. Except that this one is worse. How come they're kind of similar, you ask? Because it's a way of controlling our study hours/time. That statement just now was so absurd, wasn't it? But somehow, I see it like that. And the thing is, you can't expect everyone to have the same study habits, and the same study hours. That's even more absurd than what I said just now.
And about that announcement about going back to the dorm at 17.00 to start on our requirements. And returning our laptop at 21.00.
Okay, first, let's say that we don't have to surrender our laptop just yet.
Pros:
YAY MORE SLEEP
YAY MORE TIME TO DO STUFF
YAY I CAN PLAY A BIT BEFORE STUDYING
YAY I CAN SPEND TIME WITH MY ROOMMATES 'CAUSE THEY'RE ALSO HERE
YAY GREY LIST, I CAN LURK ONLINE A BIT AND CHAT BECAUSE I HAVE A SOCIAL LIFE LIKE THAT
YAY GREY LIST, I CAN LURK ONLINE A BIT AND CHAT BECAUSE I HAVE A SOCIAL LIFE LIKE THAT
Cons:
OH NO I STILL HAVE FRIENDS DOWNSTAIRS, I DON'T GET TO SOCIALIZE
OH NO I HAVE TO HOLD IN MY HUNGER LATER BECAUSE I HAD TO EAT EARLY
OH NO I MIGHT PROCRASTINATE
But what about if we have to surrender our laptops at 21.00
Pros:
YAY I HAVE ABOUT FOUR HOURS TO WORK ON STUFF
YAY I HAVE GRAY LIST, I CAN TELL EVERYONE I NEED TO SAY BEFORE TOMORROW COMES
Cons:
OH NO PEOPLE PLEASE JUST TEXT ME IF SOMETHING SIGNIFICANT HAPPENS ONLINE TONIGHT, LIKE Y'KNOW, CLASS SUSPENSION OR SOMETHING REQUIREMENT
OH NO I MISSED CLUB MEETING BECAUSE I REALLY HAVE STUFF TO DO TONIGHT
OH NO IT'S LIKE 17.00 IS THE NEW CURFEW OF THE DORMERS
OH NO MY FRIENDS ARE STILL THERE BUT I HAVE TO LEAVE THEM BECAUSE OF SCHOOLWORK
OH NO I CANNOT PROCRASTINATE BECAUSE I ONLY HAVE FOUR HOURS
OH NO MY ROOMMATES TALK TO YA LATER I'VE GOT STUFF TO DO
But what about if we don't go to the dorm by 17.00, (let's say, by 18:30) and have to surrender our laptops by 21.00?
Pros:
YAY SOCIAL LIFE
YAY I ATE A BIT LATER SO I'M FULL FOR LONGER
YAY CLUB MEETING
YAY I WAS ABLE TO ASK FRIEND FOR HOMEWORK I DON'T UNDERSTAND
Cons:
OH NO I ONLY HAVE ROUGHLY TWO-AND-A-HALF HOURS TO DO STUFF
OH NO SO MUCH SCHOOLWORK
OH NO ONE-AND-A-HALF HOURS BEFORE GREY LIST DISAPPEARS
OH NO CANNOT PROCRASTINATE
OH NO GROUPMATES AREN'T ONLINE YET AND SITES ARE DISAPPEARING IN AN HOUR-AND-A-HALF
Of course, not all the Pros and Cons I put applies to everyone.
Just like I said earlier, it's an attempt to standardize the study habits of people. Which is sad for some unfortunate beings like I, because my brain does not fully function when it's still daytime. (And sometimes even early in the evening.) We're going to be pressured to do/access&print our electronic requirements within a span of a few hours, which might not really help in our studies at all. We're going to have a feeling of being pressured, (it will take up parts of our brain, whether we like it, or we like it very much), so our productivity is lessened because we are not giving the task our full attention. It's like cramming. Wait, IT IS cramming, in a sense. Well, more of like, not our usual definition of cramming.
It would really help the students if given they implement this policy, at least give us stable Internet. I mean, who can maximize their time online (in social networking sties and/or researching stuff) if the Internet goes off every 30 or so seconds and comes back when you have a certain number of attempts to re-connect to the network. Aside from our time is wasted, it really ticks the people off, having to disconnect and reconnect to the WiFi every few minutes. As I said earlier, our productivity is reduced because there's something else, aside from the requirements, going on inside of our minds.
And if you think about it, would they allow you to get your laptop back at around 2AM? Because, really, in the dorm, some still bring their study habits from home (sleep-work-sleep-work-sleep-work), and would the Dormitory address to that? No. Like my first point, it's like trying to get everyone to have the same study habits. And if ever they'll let us get our laptops back in the morning, we'll have to get it at what, six-something in the morning, when we are getting ready for school?
And probably the last issue I'll address before I end this pointless rant: THEY ARE NOT LIABLE FOR OUR LAPTOPS. Laptops (or gadgets, in general) are allowed in school, in the condition that the school is not liable for any losses or damage to the laptop (or gadget). Which will be kind of problematic if we're asked to surrender our laptops. First: what if someone breaks into wherever they keep the laptops? That kind of thinking might be "exag", but then you can never tell. It's like we thought nothing could get worse than... and then... PLEASE DON'T MIND THAT STATEMENT JUST NOW. Um, yeah, where were we? Oh. And what if they mishandle the laptops and cause some damage to it? OF COURSE THEY WON'T PAY US, I MEAN, THAT'S STUPID. They'll just say sorry and make you forget everything. [Or maybe that's just me who thinks that people can actually do that?]
And probably the last issue I'll address before I end this pointless rant: THEY ARE NOT LIABLE FOR OUR LAPTOPS. Laptops (or gadgets, in general) are allowed in school, in the condition that the school is not liable for any losses or damage to the laptop (or gadget). Which will be kind of problematic if we're asked to surrender our laptops. First: what if someone breaks into wherever they keep the laptops? That kind of thinking might be "exag", but then you can never tell. It's like we thought nothing could get worse than... and then... PLEASE DON'T MIND THAT STATEMENT JUST NOW. Um, yeah, where were we? Oh. And what if they mishandle the laptops and cause some damage to it? OF COURSE THEY WON'T PAY US, I MEAN, THAT'S STUPID. They'll just say sorry and make you forget everything. [Or maybe that's just me who thinks that people can actually do that?]
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